Every first would be the Last

 Hurmmmm.... from now on.. can I stop mentioning your name?? I don't know why...but today I just realize that...

our first meet is the last... our first gaze is the last... don't u know? it true...I only have one moment with you..

and I appreciate that....thanks to god I captured it well in my mind.... well I guess its really the best decision to make a blog... because at least I have a place to tell all what I have to go through... even it is a bit hurts by typing and crying alone... but I know my life would come back to this way at last... because i've been like this since I'm a little kid... no one will know when I cry... they just get to see the happy side of me... well I guess back to basic is my new life title.. buried all the loneliness deep in my empty heart...no one will know right....

Pain.... can i handle it?? get to know what I faced its not what other people have... its good to know someone that have the same illness like me... but she can't give me support when she is sick like me... every time i feel the pain... i started to cry... but in that time.. I still beware cause I don't want people to see that I'm suffering... my life getting hard day by day... but in each day... I keep read through people story... they all gets to have their happy ending... but mine? just suck all the way there...it just to hurt to endure it alone..

But what more can I ask when nothing being fulfill... everything that i wish just when silence...in the same time...someone is very happy with their life.....that's really make me hurt....I always be the one who like to ask... 'care to share?' but now... its true...that I'm really nothing in everyone life... so... let me be the one that got away... I wish you be happy with your life...

WHAT? STILL WISHING? no no no I'll PRAY that you will live happily with your new life... :')

It is true that u say... who me to decide what will happen in my life...its god works..

but to make yourself clear... it is me to decide how my future will be paint... 

don't you know? our future being fate by our way...

so if u see my way of living... u would understand how bright my future will be... without someone supporting from behind i don't think that i have enough strength..

sorry

Acting is the greatest answer to my loneliness that I have found.
Claire Danes